Moms Council: Should Children Participate in Competitive Sports?

Should children participate in competitive sports?

From Christa Ciccia:

I'm a fan of competitive sports. I believe they teach perseverance and team work. However, I'm not a fan of show-boating.

Here in Stoneham we rarely have an issue with poor sportsmanship. The younger players are encouraged not to keep score and they focus more on the fundamentals of the game. The older players are taught that winning is a humbling experience, and to never gloat.

My son has played in soccer games where the coach will ask the players to stop keeping score. I love that. Why embarrass another team? 

I appreciate the way Stoneham sports enforces their sportsmanship policies. For example, during the games parents aren't allowed near the team or the coaches or to scream at other players or interfere by being a “sideline coach.”

I do believe competitive sports can get messy when players aren't at equal ability levels. That’s why I'm so happy with Stoneham Soccer.

The players are put in levels according to their different abilities. This way every team is equally strong.

Having been a travel soccer mom for some time, I can tell you that not every town does this. We are very lucky to have a soccer club that recognizes the importance of this.

Lastly, competitive sports teach the value of losing. It can help a player realize that things in life aren't always going to go their way; moreover, it can help them work on weaknesses in their performance.

Losing also can make a player appreciate winning all the more. Competitive sports can teach children the excitement of winning and the value of losing.

From Melisa Thorne:

When I was a child, my parents never pushed sports on me or my sisters. Unless we pestered, they didn’t offer to sign us up for anything and even then it was a monumental effort for my mom to get us to practice on time. Bless her. She was a busy lady.

Luckily for her, I had absolutely no interest in sports. 

Now, as an adult, I really regret not being more athletic in my youth. I believe that athletics teach you skills like leadership, teamwork and persistence. While I learned these aspects in other areas of my life, how I wished when I was kid and when my friends invited me to go ice skating or swimming that I could go rather than declining because I didn’t know how to do such activities.

And so, with my daughters, I decided that while I'll still encourage them to focus on academics, I also want them to focus on athletics. 

When my oldest daughter was four, we signed her up for Learn to Skate. I was amazed at the natural ability to skate some four year olds had, alas my daughter wasn't one of them. But she told us she had fun and was happy when we signed her up again. 

At five, she is still no phenom, but she comes off the ice with a smile on her face and that is good enough for me.

We also signed her up for gymnastics and soccer. Again, it's unlikely that she’ll ever be Olympic caliber, but she loves it. 

She can't get enough of walking on the balance beam or chasing after the soccer ball and, at five-years old, her meets and games are quite friendly. All participants receive medals or trophies and everyone leaves feeling like a winner.  It's all good. 

Still, as I wait at her practices, I can't help but glance over to the area where the older, “more serious” kids are practicing. They still look so young to me and yet they practice for hours a day. If one of the girls makes a mistake, the coaches are encouraging but other kids may taunt her and honestly, I cringe at the thought of someone treating my child like that.

So I've resolved that my daughter will remain in gymnastics and ice skating or soccer as long as she enjoys it. If she wants to go on to seriously compete, then of course I'll support her in any way I can. But if she decides it's no longer fun, then we'll find some other athletic activity that she enjoys -- all the while ensuring that she never stops learning the lessons of leadership and teamwork and persistence. In this way, I hope she learns exercise is important -- but it isn't everything.

From Cristine Warren-Linn:

As soon as my children were old enough to get involved in competitive sports, I signed them up.

My daughter plays soccer and was part of competitive swim, cheer and softball teams last year. My son is currently playing T-Ball. They both have had great experiences. 

Competitive sports have taught them both how to be a part of a team. They are learning that it is important to show up for practices and games. When they don’t feel like going I explain to them that their team is relying on them and they don’t have a choice.

Last year during soccer there was talk of not keeping score during the games. I didn't agree with this. Keeping track of wins and losses is important. How can a team improve if they don’t realize they aren’t playing as well as another team? 

If children can’t handle losing, grade school is a good time to teach them not to be poor sports and that it isn't about being the best but being the best they can be.  

Sports only get more competitive as children get older. Not keeping score is only delaying the inevitable. Every child is going to lose at some point.

Through losses and failure, people no matter what age, learn how to improve and how to handle adversity.